










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4416 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4261 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3393 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4263 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,824,413 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⧉Ytiev | 51% | 57 |
| #2 | OsloDaPig | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | !m-DP Phuse | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | haloflyer | 40% | 118 |
| #5 | Woof | 39% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | !m-DP Phuse | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | haloflyer | 40% | 118 |
| #5 | Woof | 39% | 132 |
| #6 | Mnmzzz | 32% | 76 |
| #7 | selenica101 | 26% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haloflyer | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Woof | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | OsloDaPig | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | selenica101 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | !m-DP Phuse | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haloflyer | 687 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | OsloDaPig | 621 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #3 | Woof | 402 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | ⧉Ytiev | 327 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #5 | selenica101 | 147 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OsloDaPig | +6.98 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | !m-DP Phuse | -0.50 | 62 | 50 |
| #3 | Woof | -0.81 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | Mnmzzz | -0.90 | 65 | 28 |
| #5 | haloflyer | -0.94 | 54 | 43 |





