








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1748 | 45% |
| Smokes | 258 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 864 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,909 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Woof | 40% | 53 |
| #6 | Koi | 33% | 9 |
| #7 | Mnmzzz | 33% | 52 |
| #8 | selenica101 | 29% | 49 |
| #9 | ASU.ItsTypho | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terror of Tehran | 19 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Woof | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | OsloDaPig | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ASU.ItsTypho | 4 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | selenica101 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terror of Tehran | 308 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | OsloDaPig | 273 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | Woof | 162 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | selenica101 | 94 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | ⧉Ytiev | 70 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OsloDaPig | +7.16 | 91 | 74 |
| #2 | Koi | +3.95 | 93 | 58 |
| #3 | ASU.ItsTypho | +0.32 | 92 | 67 |
| #4 | Mnmzzz | -0.69 | 65 | 26 |
| #5 | selenica101 | -0.91 | 66 | 43 |





