








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6589 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6072 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2810 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4473 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,713 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alvin | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Noah | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Fanboyy | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | KarbonOG | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Last Shidbender | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noah | 906 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #2 | Alvin | 626 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | KarbonOG | 565 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ellis | 522 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #5 | Last Shidbender | 341 | 0.05 | 9 min |





