








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1176 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1756 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 967 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3110 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,810,129 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarbonOG | 42% | 93 |
| #2 | Storm | 41% | 283 |
| #3 | Noah | 41% | 228 |
| #4 | Alvin | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | Last Shidbender | 39% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarbonOG | 42% | 93 |
| #2 | Storm | 41% | 283 |
| #3 | Noah | 41% | 228 |
| #4 | Alvin | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | Last Shidbender | 39% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noah | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Storm | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Last Shidbender | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | KarbonOG | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | 1101 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | Noah | 465 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | KarbonOG | 321 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Last Shidbender | 237 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Alvin | 135 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | +3.83 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | Alvin | +3.79 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | Noah | +0.19 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | KarbonOG | +0.05 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | Last Shidbender | -2.84 | 52 | 32 |





