








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1437 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1351 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1031 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,803 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Last Shidbender | 46% | 112 |
| #6 | Noah | 45% | 157 |
| #7 | Fanboyy | 42% | 93 |
| #8 | Alvin | 41% | 34 |
| #9 | iBRNDO | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noah | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Fanboyy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Storm | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Last Shidbender | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | gone till Jan 2 | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | 690 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | Noah | 298 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Alvin | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Last Shidbender | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fanboyy | 77 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | +3.58 | 71 | 74 |
| #2 | Ellis | +2.39 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | gone till Jan 2 | +1.79 | 87 | 73 |
| #4 | Alvin | +1.59 | 88 | 53 |
| #5 | KarbonOG | -0.11 | 66 | 49 |





