








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,259 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2055 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1406 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,163,887 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H.O.L.K.E.N | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | Tuckie | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | Ms Bugsy | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | SuperBad | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | Bugsy77 | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | FieldForest | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | SajberFina | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Captain Kyrk | 39% | 64 |
| #10 | VanDracul | 36% | 22 |
| #11 | Léexi | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuckie | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Captain Kyrk | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | H.O.L.K.E.N | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | VanDracul | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | FieldForest | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Kyrk | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | H.O.L.K.E.N | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | SuperBad | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheGoth-HackeR.exe | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bugsy77 | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuckie | +5.73 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | Ms Bugsy | +5.30 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | SuperBad | +2.16 | 60 | 63 |
| #4 | H.O.L.K.E.N | +1.15 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | TheGoth-HackeR.exe | +0.51 | 36 | 54 |





