








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5911 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4273 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4750 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3191 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,960 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NkMusic^ | 62% | 55 |
| #2 | NuCk | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | lechuga organica | 53% | 115 |
| #4 | Preck | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Pabl1nho | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | javi 鸡 | 52% | 77 |
| #8 | ✪Nawjj | 50% | 107 |
| #9 | Ulises :3 | 50% | 62 |
| #10 | f3Rush | 47% | 235 |
| #11 | PITBULLCONY | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javi 鸡 | 14 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | lechuga organica | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | f3Rush | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ✪Nawjj | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Pabl1nho | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pabl1nho | 1181 | 0.36 | 37 min |
| #2 | f3Rush | 1160 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #3 | lechuga organica | 579 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #4 | PITBULLCONY | 245 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ulises :3 | 242 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flaky Kill 'Em All | +3.09 | 65 | 72 |
| #2 | NuCk | +2.13 | 66 | 79 |
| #3 | Pabl1nho | +1.72 | 38 | 81 |
| #4 | Ulises :3 | +1.11 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | NkMusic^ | +0.73 | 63 | 67 |





