








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1245 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3406 | 10% |
| Smokes | 8972 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12642 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 8493 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,957,289 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pabl1nho | 52% | 334 |
| #2 | lechuga organica | 52% | 231 |
| #3 | javi 鸡 | 51% | 212 |
| #4 | Preck | 51% | 122 |
| #5 | Even | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javi 鸡 | 34 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | f3Rush | 26 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | PITBULLCONY | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | NkMusic^ | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Ulises :3 | 15 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f3Rush | 2737 | 0.22 | 76 min |
| #2 | Pabl1nho | 2615 | 0.36 | 85 min |
| #3 | lechuga organica | 1121 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #4 | NkMusic^ | 997 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #5 | PITBULLCONY | 688 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pabl1nho | +1.73 | 38 | 82 |
| #2 | Ulises :3 | +1.50 | 48 | 61 |
| #3 | NkMusic^ | +1.13 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Even | +0.97 | 59 | 72 |
| #5 | lechuga organica | +0.80 | 45 | 76 |





