








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21 | 14% |
| Smokes | 88 | 60% |
| HE Grenades | 16 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 21 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $50,372 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Maybe Egg | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Pandito | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | meese | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | meese | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Papiichulo | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | 36% | 22 |
| #8 | Egg | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandito | 1 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Maybe Egg | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papiichulo | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 47 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Maybe Egg | 19 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | Pandito | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Egg | 12 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maybe Egg | +6.37 | 67 | 40 |
| #2 | Papiichulo | +1.35 | 57 | 42 |
| #3 | Pandito | +0.85 | 41 | 49 |
| #4 | meese | +0.53 | 82 | 11 |
| #5 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | +0.12 | 27 | 21 |





