








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5729 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4766 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4825 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4780 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,714 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konichiwa | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | AptiC | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Meepy | 54% | 125 |
| #4 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 54% | 89 |
| #5 | opendeur | 50% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Meepy | 54% | 125 |
| #4 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 54% | 89 |
| #5 | opendeur | 50% | 150 |
| #6 | eros | 49% | 336 |
| #7 | ALT_Nume | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eros | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Meepy | 18 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | opendeur | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Konichiwa | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eros | 1599 | 0.23 | 47 min |
| #2 | Meepy | 645 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #3 | opendeur | 605 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | ALT_Nume | 81 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AptiC | +8.84 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | Konichiwa | +3.23 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | +2.52 | 73 | 41 |
| #4 | eros | +2.03 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | ALT_Nume | +1.40 | 59 | 67 |





