








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1517 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1296 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1714 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,124 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ur worst nitemare | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | JonnyCPT | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Lemone | 53% | 97 |
| #4 | Steelbone | 52% | 129 |
| #5 | BrunoBugatti98 | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lemone | 53% | 97 |
| #4 | Steelbone | 52% | 129 |
| #5 | BrunoBugatti98 | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | schorsch | 50% | 128 |
| #7 | ✪ Leax™ | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelbone | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | schorsch | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | BrunoBugatti98 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ✪ Leax™ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | JonnyCPT | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schorsch | 478 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Lemone | 218 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Steelbone | 208 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | BrunoBugatti98 | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Leax™ | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemone | +2.27 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | schorsch | +1.02 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | JonnyCPT | +0.45 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | CreepyCorner | +0.29 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | BrunoBugatti98 | -0.87 | 72 | 69 |





