








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1656 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3396 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1265 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1958 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,853 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fleance | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Maestro89 | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Vinsmoke | 45% | 105 |
| #5 | Tamago Tosaka | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tamago Tosaka | 39% | 59 |
| #6 | V-God | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | NIGHTMARE | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | MAX | 33% | 87 |
| #9 | R4don | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinsmoke | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | MAX | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | NIGHTMARE | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Maestro89 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maestro89 | 269 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Vinsmoke | 177 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | MAX | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fleance | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fleance | +6.61 | 85 | 40 |
| #2 | R4don | +6.56 | 80 | 42 |
| #3 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | +4.93 | 56 | 51 |
| #4 | V-God | +2.76 | 88 | 32 |
| #5 | Vinsmoke | +1.78 | 57 | 48 |





