








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1505 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 628 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,524 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fleance | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Dudu | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Maestro89 | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | JF贏 | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | V-God | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | Vinsmoke | 37% | 101 |
| #8 | Legna | 33% | 87 |
| #9 | Tamago Tosaka | 26% | 50 |
| #10 | R4don | 14% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinsmoke | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Maestro89 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Legna | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Dudu | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maestro89 | 202 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vinsmoke | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Legna | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | V-God | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JF贏 | +6.30 | 76 | 32 |
| #2 | Fleance | +6.20 | 77 | 29 |
| #3 | R4don | +4.33 | 75 | 40 |
| #4 | Forever Young | Lek Tau Cui | +3.99 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | Dudu | +3.78 | 93 | 54 |





