








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5170 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4730 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3818 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3506 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,362 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 706 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bayreuther Hell | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | ☢︎BONOBOrUSHB® | 55% | 74 |
| #3 | PaJz_IXE | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | InceptxDark | 54% | 118 |
| #5 | hauptimaupti | 53% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | hauptimaupti | 53% | 211 |
| #6 | sliN | 50% | 145 |
| #7 | Nate Dogg | 50% | 40 |
| #8 | Ramses | 49% | 77 |
| #9 | Septer | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauptimaupti | 22 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | sliN | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Ramses | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ☢︎BONOBOrUSHB® | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Nate Dogg | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauptimaupti | 705 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | sliN | 489 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Septer | 362 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | ☢︎BONOBOrUSHB® | 328 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Nate Dogg | 193 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sliN | +3.81 | 92 | 74 |
| #2 | Ramses | +1.58 | 73 | 42 |
| #3 | Nate Dogg | +0.47 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | Septer | +0.17 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | Wurstkreatur | +0.02 | 78 | 74 |





