








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 289 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6645 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4173 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4387 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5296 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,152,396 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | hansmeister2000 | 46% | 198 |
| #13 | Annex | 46% | 82 |
| #14 | »ℒisza (♛)» | 44% | 45 |
| #15 | bavy | 43% | 40 |
| #16 | LowBudget- | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grâm | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | z3n | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | hansmeister2000 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | agee- | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Annex | 2 | 0.0011 |





