








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 695 | 21% |
| Smokes | 914 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,604 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alinhox | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | jääkarhupurkka | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | dj | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | cs_pera | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | awis | 53% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Art0♚ | 49% | 49 |
| #8 | Paske | 48% | 67 |
| #9 | KooJii | 47% | 114 |
| #10 | janki | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | Kkammos | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unijoni | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Art0♚ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | KooJii | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Paske | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Kkammos | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KooJii | 369 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | awis | 365 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | cs_pera | 222 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Paske | 218 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kkammos | 171 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jääkarhupurkka | +3.13 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | cs_pera | +2.34 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | awis | +1.85 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | dj | +1.84 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | maketin | +1.73 | 89 | 54 |





