








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1378 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1155 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,609 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Art0♚ | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | Jyrki | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Alinhox | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Kkammos | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | maketin | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KooJii | 46% | 110 |
| #7 | cs_pera | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | Unijoni | 46% | 98 |
| #9 | awis | 45% | 91 |
| #10 | janki | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unijoni | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Art0♚ | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | KooJii | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | maketin | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | cs_pera | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awis | 279 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | KooJii | 268 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Unijoni | 184 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | cs_pera | 151 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | maketin | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cs_pera | +2.53 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | awis | +2.30 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | maketin | +1.66 | 90 | 53 |
| #4 | Art0♚ | +0.36 | 64 | 73 |
| #5 | Alinhox | +0.03 | 75 | 54 |





