








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 285 | 10% |
| Smokes | 724 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,884 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SΔKURΔ | 85% | 26 |
| #2 | Senshi | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | yaNkee :R | 71% | 55 |
| #4 | Batman #Back | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Hoover | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | yaNkee :R | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Batman #Back | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | SΔKURΔ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | 99 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | SΔKURΔ | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Batman #Back | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | smN | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Hoover | 57 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | +6.76 | 73 | 75 |
| #2 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | +4.10 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | SΔKURΔ | +3.17 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | Batman #Back | +1.13 | 48 | 76 |
| #5 | smN | +0.44 | 61 | 56 |





