








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4083 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3790 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4616 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4460 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,942 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | 85% | 26 |
| #2 | yaNkee :R | 52% | 273 |
| #3 | Batman #Back | 51% | 222 |
| #4 | The Hoover | 50% | 147 |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 46% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Batman #Back | 51% | 222 |
| #4 | The Hoover | 50% | 147 |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 46% | 150 |
| #6 | Senshi | 43% | 162 |
| #7 | enciclya | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Batman #Back | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Senshi | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | The Hoover | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | 584 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Batman #Back | 433 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Senshi | 337 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | The Hoover | 124 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 82 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | +4.33 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | +1.96 | 62 | 41 |
| #3 | SΔKURΔ | +1.08 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | Batman #Back | +0.20 | 48 | 70 |
| #5 | Senshi | -1.33 | 54 | 62 |





