








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 770 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5535 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3361 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5288 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3642 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,472,294 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | 71% | 55 |
| #2 | oetziehh | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | SΔKURΔ | 52% | 273 |
| #4 | TripLe | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | Batman #Back | 50% | 272 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Batman #Back | 50% | 272 |
| #6 | The Hoover | 47% | 202 |
| #7 | Senshi | 45% | 146 |
| #8 | enciclya | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | capslockDANIEL | 42% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Batman #Back | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | The Hoover | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Senshi | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | SΔKURΔ | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | capslockDANIEL | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SΔKURΔ | 540 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Batman #Back | 529 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Senshi | 299 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | The Hoover | 157 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | oetziehh | 156 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | +4.33 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | oetziehh | +3.62 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | +2.95 | 60 | 53 |
| #4 | SΔKURΔ | +0.49 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | Batman #Back | +0.31 | 48 | 70 |





