








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 35% |
| Smokes | 136 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 194 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 131 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,554 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | capslockDANIEL | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | AGio | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | yaNkee :R | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | The Hoover | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AGio | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | yaNkee :R | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | The Hoover | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Batman #Back | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Hoover | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | AGio | 1 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | yaNkee :R | 23 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | The Hoover | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Batman #Back | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | AGio | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaNkee :R | +5.55 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | AGio | +3.41 | 55 | 74 |
| #3 | Dr. Skippos von Lauchus II | +2.49 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | smN | +0.44 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | Batman #Back | -1.00 | 56 | 79 |





