








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3621 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2353 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2785 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,488 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CobR | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | humblie | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | Worst_Nightmare | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | nuke | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | Primo | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | humblie | 52% | 97 |
| #3 | Worst_Nightmare | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | nuke | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | Primo | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Phromage | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humblie | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | nuke | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Phromage | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | CobR | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humblie | 91 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | nuke | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | CobR | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Worst_Nightmare | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Phromage | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CobR | +2.83 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | humblie | +2.69 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | nuke | +1.36 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | ffirG | +0.97 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Primo | -1.34 | 71 | 49 |





