








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 820 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9262 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9861 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7550 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6867 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,193,968 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1669 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | new player | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | POSSUMATOR | 56% | 173 |
| #5 | Trent Tripp | 55% | 279 |
| #6 | humblie | 54% | 241 |
| #7 | Lagmaster | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trent Tripp | 42 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | snookerdoodle | 29 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | humblie | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | POSSUMATOR | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | new player | 10 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trent Tripp | 808 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | snookerdoodle | 496 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | new player | 372 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #4 | humblie | 279 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | POSSUMATOR | 233 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | new player | +4.20 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | humblie | +2.41 | 85 | 49 |
| #3 | POSSUMATOR | +2.27 | 84 | 39 |
| #4 | nuke | +1.89 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | snookerdoodle | +1.36 | 75 | 57 |





