








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2658 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2206 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1924 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2087 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,460 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | new player | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | SatanicGodz | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | ffirG | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | nuke | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | humblie | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | snookerdoodle | 51% | 116 |
| #9 | JZH | 40% | 20 |
| #10 | Digital_Myth | 37% | 19 |
| #11 | POSSUMATOR | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | bean | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snookerdoodle | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | nuke | 9 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | humblie | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Digital_Myth | 5 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | SatanicGodz | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snookerdoodle | 255 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | nuke | 118 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | alex ♥ | 112 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | SatanicGodz | 103 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | humblie | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | new player | +4.11 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | SatanicGodz | +2.65 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | humblie | +2.19 | 88 | 46 |
| #4 | Digital_Myth | +2.06 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | JZH | +1.54 | 67 | 77 |





