








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2230 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2314 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3022 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2035 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,897 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | superman | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Tu-tu-tu-du | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | 🦉B1G ØWL🦉 | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | Iam a mekanik | 48% | 151 |
| #5 | say drake | 46% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 🦉B1G ØWL🦉 | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | Iam a mekanik | 48% | 151 |
| #5 | say drake | 46% | 196 |
| #6 | Sumiczki Jozefina | 46% | 177 |
| #7 | qerkh | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sumiczki Jozefina | 23 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | say drake | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Iam a mekanik | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | 🦉B1G ØWL🦉 | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | qerkh | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sumiczki Jozefina | 796 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Iam a mekanik | 537 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | say drake | 366 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | qerkh | 258 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | 🦉B1G ØWL🦉 | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | superman | +5.27 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | レクサスIS200 peek | +1.76 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | Tu-tu-tu-du | +1.19 | 65 | 43 |
| #4 | qerkh | +1.02 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | Iam a mekanik | -0.12 | 49 | 66 |





