








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3887 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2747 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2526 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2360 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,127,745 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 932 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dado | 63% | 119 |
| #2 | Deathsmile | 63% | 67 |
| #3 | mtw231 | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | iCemANNN*** | 58% | 144 |
| #5 | Woozy | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dybuu | 15 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Black Impostor from Ohio | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Yumai | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Dustburn | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | iCemANNN*** | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sus | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Yumai | 138 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | iCemANNN*** | 136 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dybuu | 116 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dustburn | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dado | +4.56 | 96 | 42 |
| #2 | nil | +3.74 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | Scar | +0.59 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | Deathsmile | +0.29 | 91 | 40 |
| #5 | Dybuu | +0.14 | 57 | 59 |





