








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8330 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7026 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4807 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5938 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,902 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dingus | 49% | 160 |
| #4 | R1ku | 48% | 98 |
| #5 | HolyCrusadee | 48% | 141 |
| #6 | Vinkelgnidarn | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | WalZZor⭕⃤ | 45% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dingus | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | HolyCrusadee | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | R1ku | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | TOMMY | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | WalZZor⭕⃤ | 3 | 0.0012 |





