








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2514 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2937 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2199 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $660,745 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 58% | 209 |
| #2 | Hawka | 55% | 223 |
| #3 | Sherra | 54% | 283 |
| #4 | Bait Meio Gordo | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | rbnho | 51% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 58% | 209 |
| #2 | Hawka | 55% | 223 |
| #3 | Sherra | 54% | 283 |
| #4 | Bait Meio Gordo | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | rbnho | 51% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherra | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Noname | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Hawka | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | rbnho | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherra | 1109 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | Hawka | 421 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Noname | 397 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | rbnho | 385 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Bait Meio Gordo | 165 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherra | +1.60 | 68 | 75 |
| #2 | rbnho | +0.61 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | Bait Meio Gordo | +0.46 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Hawka | -0.07 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | Noname | -0.18 | 78 | 61 |





