








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 784 matches | ||
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15055 | 30% |
| Smokes | 14898 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10969 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8973 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,530,501 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 57% | 727 |
| #2 | Bait Meio Gordo | 55% | 219 |
| #3 | rbnho | 55% | 349 |
| #4 | Noname | 54% | 283 |
| #5 | Hawka | 54% | 428 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 57% | 727 |
| #2 | Bait Meio Gordo | 55% | 219 |
| #3 | rbnho | 55% | 349 |
| #4 | Noname | 54% | 283 |
| #5 | Hawka | 54% | 428 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 16 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Noname | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | rbnho | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Hawka | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Bait Meio Gordo | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 1764 | 0.11 | 48 min |
| #2 | Bait Meio Gordo | 986 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #3 | Noname | 818 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #4 | Hawka | 781 | 0.08 | 26 min |
| #5 | rbnho | 661 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherra | +2.53 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | rbnho | +1.01 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Hawka | -0.18 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Noname | -0.31 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | Bait Meio Gordo | -0.66 | 63 | 67 |





