








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1376 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1195 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1434 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,921 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendle | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | thebiggestantt | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | [Cloud 9] Bdog246 | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | rovuh | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Z | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | thebiggestantt | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | [Cloud 9] Bdog246 | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | rovuh | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Z | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | Kyouki | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | rovuh | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 109 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kyouki | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | thebiggestantt | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | rovuh | 92 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | [Cloud 9] Bdog246 | 72 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thebiggestantt | +2.29 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | john dick | +2.15 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Z | +1.20 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | Kyouki | +0.86 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | [Cloud 9] Bdog246 | -0.85 | 82 | 74 |





