








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3365 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2612 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2997 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2579 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,413 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -fr0stbyte | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Jake | 63% | 62 |
| #3 | BinLaden | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | rovuh | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | ∞ | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BinLaden | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | rovuh | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | ∞ | 56% | 27 |
| #6 | snorkle dirt VII | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | Fishsticks | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | snorkle dirt VII | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 230 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | BinLaden | 187 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Fishsticks | 139 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | -fr0stbyte | 123 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | ∞ | 121 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BinLaden | +2.40 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | +1.85 | 78 | 82 |
| #3 | Jake | +1.73 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | snorkle dirt VII | +0.05 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | ∞ | -0.28 | 78 | 62 |





