








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2686 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2626 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1704 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,471 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ღDooMy | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | taZa | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | fargius | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | ex | 63% | 35 |
| #5 | john dick | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | taZa | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | fargius | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | ex | 63% | 35 |
| #5 | john dick | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | Fonz | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ღDooMy | 4 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | ex | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Fonz | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | john dick | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | fargius | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonz | 205 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | ex | 177 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | taZa | 89 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | fargius | 73 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | john dick | 69 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ex | +2.90 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Z | +2.88 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | fargius | +2.84 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | john dick | +2.31 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | taZa | +2.01 | 86 | 74 |





