








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1561 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1113 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1737 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,739 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaddHands | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | artaxiann | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Matrix | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | C4M | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Cursed | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Albert D | 34% | 29 |
| #8 | dinger | 32% | 38 |
| #9 | JS3 | 30% | 37 |
| #10 | Krzy | 20% | 15 |
| #11 | BucketHead | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinger | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | C4M | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Matrix | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | JS3 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Albert D | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinger | 247 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | C4M | 124 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Matrix | 96 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | artaxiann | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | MaddHands | 68 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4M | +1.44 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Matrix | +0.11 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | Krzy | +0.06 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | Dudley__ | -0.04 | 77 | 43 |
| #5 | Cursed | -0.13 | 64 | 63 |





