








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Faceit | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10822 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9054 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6228 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8154 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,259,499 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taylor Swift Lover | 54% | 184 |
| #2 | RealAsianBatman | 52% | 106 |
| #3 | SilraVen | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | #SweetTea | 50% | 360 |
| #5 | BucketHead | 49% | 375 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JS3 | 29 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | BucketHead | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Albert D | 21 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | #SweetTea | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Krzy | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JS3 | 788 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | #SweetTea | 677 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #3 | Albert D | 592 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | Krzy | 294 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | BucketHead | 288 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krzy | +1.69 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | dinger | +1.65 | 77 | 80 |
| #3 | RealAsianBatman | +1.11 | 69 | 49 |
| #4 | JayFrcs | +0.91 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Albert D | +0.26 | 52 | 69 |





