








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4476 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3468 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2710 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4132 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,332,651 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zane | 70% | 50 |
| #2 | PassionHaver | 66% | 122 |
| #3 | ✪ peepoKing | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | Primal | 54% | 91 |
| #5 | C4M | 53% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4M | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | PassionHaver | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Primal | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Ball | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Zane | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4M | 417 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ball | 328 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | PassionHaver | 318 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Primal | 291 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Blitz | 237 | 0.14 | 6 min |





