








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1061 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,426 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fur1 | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | j0fa | 53% | 99 |
| #3 | JeffowOw | 52% | 163 |
| #4 | NIKEN | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | PHENOM_pew_pew | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NIKEN | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | PHENOM_pew_pew | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | 🐦 beather | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | magic | 48% | 54 |
| #8 | MoOnTy | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffowOw | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | magic | 11 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | fur1 | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | j0fa | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 🐦 beather | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0fa | 348 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | JeffowOw | 274 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | magic | 183 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | MoOnTy | 73 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🐦 beather | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoOnTy | +2.27 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | 🐦 beather | +1.63 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | fur1 | +1.32 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | magic | +1.05 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | j0fa | +0.66 | 78 | 75 |





