








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3522 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2182 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2339 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1526 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,042 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magic | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | 🏅Blooder | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | NIKEN | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | fur1 | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | JeffowOw | 53% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hiroshima | 53% | 99 |
| #7 | 🐦 beather | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | SNEKO' | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | MoOnTy | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | PHENOM_pew_pew | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffowOw | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Hiroshima | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | PHENOM_pew_pew | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | fur1 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | magic | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffowOw | 295 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | magic | 140 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | MoOnTy | 127 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | PHENOM_pew_pew | 88 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hiroshima | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fur1 | +2.00 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | MoOnTy | +1.33 | 59 | 77 |
| #3 | j0fa | +0.67 | 78 | 75 |
| #4 | 🐦 beather | +0.58 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | JeffowOw | +0.55 | 44 | 65 |





