








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2891 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2096 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2299 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,350,389 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hed | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | El doctor | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Pouککi™ | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Kwaftt | 46% | 135 |
| #5 | Tigibus | 46% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | El doctor | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Pouککi™ | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Kwaftt | 46% | 135 |
| #5 | Tigibus | 46% | 226 |
| #6 | Noether | 45% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tigibus | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Noether | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Kwaftt | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hed | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | El doctor | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tigibus | 756 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Kwaftt | 153 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Noether | 109 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | El doctor | 59 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pouککi™ | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hed | +2.76 | 39 | 62 |
| #2 | Tigibus | +1.70 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | El doctor | +1.06 | 50 | 68 |
| #4 | Papalive | -0.35 | 33 | 70 |
| #5 | Pouککi™ | -1.07 | 37 | 51 |





