








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2240 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2248 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1818 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,409 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papalive | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | louss | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Tigibus | 58% | 85 |
| #4 | Hed | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | GEnom!c | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | GEnom!c | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | El doctor | 49% | 146 |
| #7 | Ches7nut | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | NonoNAZ | 40% | 75 |
| #9 | DOOMGAST | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El doctor | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Ches7nut | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | NonoNAZ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Papalive | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Tigibus | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El doctor | 633 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tigibus | 278 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | NonoNAZ | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | GEnom!c | 112 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | DOOMGAST | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | louss | +2.18 | 71 | 40 |
| #2 | Hed | +2.14 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | GEnom!c | +2.05 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | DOOMGAST | +1.08 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | Tigibus | +0.71 | 54 | 69 |





