








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6873 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8304 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4371 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5132 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,818,112 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hed | 60% | 98 |
| #2 | Pouککi™ | 58% | 85 |
| #3 | NonoNAZ | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | GEnom!c | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | El doctor | 53% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | El doctor | 53% | 133 |
| #6 | Kwaftt | 47% | 120 |
| #7 | Papalive | 46% | 226 |
| #8 | Noether | 42% | 74 |
| #9 | Ches7nut | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papalive | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Noether | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Ches7nut | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | El doctor | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Kwaftt | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papalive | 629 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | El doctor | 576 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | GEnom!c | 208 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kwaftt | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hed | 112 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hed | +2.54 | 43 | 61 |
| #2 | Tigibus | +0.98 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | GEnom!c | +0.82 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | NonoNAZ | +0.14 | 34 | 50 |
| #5 | El doctor | -0.35 | 50 | 67 |





