








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1292 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1619 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2308 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,134 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IJqsper_ | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Mikydo | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | ImBeef | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Vallas | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Jorji Costava | 55% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Giedow | 48% | 33 |
| #13 | zwizu. | 45% | 29 |
| #14 | Polish | 41% | 27 |
| #15 | ThijsKamphuis | 41% | 27 |
| #16 | NykxS | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giedow | 11 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Polish | 5 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Jorji Costava | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Joonthom | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ImBeef | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carsten | 244 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | trippletoet | 188 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Joonthom | 185 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jorji Costava | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | A-Choroh-S | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImBeef | +3.52 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Mikydo | +2.01 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | Jorji Costava | +1.47 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | IJqsper_ | +1.04 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | trippletoet | +0.91 | 93 | 65 |





