








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 887 | 44% |
| Smokes | 378 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 354 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 420 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,740 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peath | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | lepicah | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Aowly ☁ | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | iro | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Αdmin | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | iro | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Αdmin | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | Av3ry | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Steve | 35% | 40 |
| #8 | Andy ^^ | 20% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | iro | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Αdmin | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | iro | 93 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Andy ^^ | 77 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aowly ☁ | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | peath | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peath | +5.54 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Av3ry | +4.43 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Aowly ☁ | +1.73 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | Andy ^^ | +1.05 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Steve | +0.17 | 48 | 65 |





