








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1558 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1563 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3928 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3165 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,924 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark Sage | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | olelemaiko | 57% | 108 |
| #3 | Kingsize | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | THUG LIFE | 56% | 64 |
| #5 | AYO TECHNOLOGY | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Alice' | 49% | 37 |
| #11 | ❥︎ Ðᴀɪꜱʏ | 48% | 91 |
| #12 | leko obseben priqtno nadurven | 48% | 23 |
| #13 | Bratanov | 46% | 190 |
| #14 | 𝕄𝕖𝕠𝕨 | 41% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bratanov | 64 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | ❥︎ Ðᴀɪꜱʏ | 18 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | 𝕄𝕖𝕠𝕨 | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | 910 | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | degenerated players | 12 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 910 | 340 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | 𝕄𝕖𝕠𝕨 | 320 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | olelemaiko | 283 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | degenerated players | 204 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bratanov | 177 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olelemaiko | +4.55 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | AYO TECHNOLOGY | +3.18 | 79 | 78 |
| #3 | 910 | +3.16 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | degenerated players | +2.74 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | TheSmallPharaon | +1.10 | 86 | 61 |





