








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1365 | 42% |
| Smokes | 649 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 466 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,827 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sava9e | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | GregHouseCS2 | 5 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | wazuu | 4 | 0.0258 |
| #4 | fire | 4 | 0.0328 |
| #5 | not from 63rd | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sava9e | 254 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #2 | not from 63rd | 209 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Winky Face ;) | 88 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | milf hunter | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | needy | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |





