








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 346 | 26% |
| Smokes | 232 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 309 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 424 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,721 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sava9e | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | needy | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | fire | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | not from 63rd | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | Winky Face ;) | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fire | 8 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | not from 63rd | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Winky Face ;) | 3 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | Sous Chef Don | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | halo | 2 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not from 63rd | 291 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sava9e | 148 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | fire | 108 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sous Chef Don | 84 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Winky Face ;) | 67 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sava9e | +4.84 | 84 | 85 |
| #2 | fire | +2.93 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | needy | +1.50 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | ricky | +0.11 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | Winky Face ;) | -0.57 | 85 | 61 |





