








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3643 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1611 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2172 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,688 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | not from 63rd | 42% | 137 |
| #8 | remi | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | ricky | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | halo | 39% | 41 |
| #11 | Sous Chef Don | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | halo | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Sava9e | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | not from 63rd | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ricky | 3 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | fire | 3 | 0.0126 |





