








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1056 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1015 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 942 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,056 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Télépéage | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Amandine du 38 | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Le J. | 64% | 44 |
| #4 | BARRY | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | KCDQ jr | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Joueur 1 | 54% | 39 |
| #12 | Tirf-S | 50% | 10 |
| #13 | Mague RothQueu | 48% | 23 |
| #14 | Lumenex | 45% | 62 |
| #15 | Jeanne | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaGrosseMIte | 9 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Le J. | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Lumenex | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Vìnz | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Télépéage | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lumenex | 208 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joueur 1 | 165 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Le J. | 132 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mague RothQueu | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vìnz | 81 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joueur 1 | +3.67 | 90 | 78 |
| #2 | Amandine du 38 | +2.73 | 89 | 83 |
| #3 | Wolf | +1.85 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | Le J. | +1.51 | 71 | 78 |
| #5 | Télépéage | +1.45 | 56 | 66 |





