








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 386 | 23% |
| Smokes | 373 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 554 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,917 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 34+90uiq | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | nxs | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | YungRät | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | play dude (eagle rank) | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | markomania | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | play dude (eagle rank) | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | markomania | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | TheHuldor | 49% | 51 |
| #7 | L | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | k0ntti | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 34+90uiq | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | TheHuldor | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | markomania | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | play dude (eagle rank) | 1 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 362 | 0.42 | 9 min |
| #2 | 34+90uiq | 177 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | markomania | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | k0ntti | 80 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheHuldor | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | +3.65 | 60 | 70 |
| #2 | play dude (eagle rank) | +3.49 | 71 | 79 |
| #3 | nxs | +2.54 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | 34+90uiq | +1.77 | 52 | 78 |
| #5 | k0ntti | +1.41 | 50 | 82 |





