








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1873 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1421 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1437 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1147 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,975 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | play dude (eagle rank) | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Goiver | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | markomania | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | L | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | YungRät | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | L | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | YungRät | 48% | 56 |
| #6 | k0ntti | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | TheHuldor | 48% | 88 |
| #8 | nxs | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHuldor | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | L | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | YungRät | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | markomania | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Goiver | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 694 | 0.40 | 17 min |
| #2 | markomania | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | YungRät | 159 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | k0ntti | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Goiver | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | play dude (eagle rank) | +2.91 | 62 | 66 |
| #2 | L | +1.75 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | 34+90uiq | +1.60 | 56 | 76 |
| #4 | nxs | +0.04 | 62 | 51 |
| #5 | YungRät | -0.03 | 75 | 61 |





