








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 20% |
| Smokes | 753 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1285 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,876 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | L | 50% | 74 |
| #7 | TheHuldor | 46% | 65 |
| #8 | nxs | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | doer | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | k0ntti | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 34+90uiq | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | TheHuldor | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | L | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Goiver | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | YungRät | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 634 | 0.41 | 15 min |
| #2 | 34+90uiq | 316 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | k0ntti | 120 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | YungRät | 119 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | doer | 73 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | play dude (eagle rank) | +4.37 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | 34+90uiq | +2.39 | 52 | 78 |
| #3 | L | +1.96 | 60 | 66 |
| #4 | k0ntti | +0.65 | 47 | 78 |
| #5 | YungRät | +0.43 | 78 | 61 |





